Category Archives: Humor

Just random funny crap I find

Polish Toddler Runs Over Family Members In Car

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LMAO, how funny is this?

WARSAW (Reuters) – An 18-month-old child started the family car and ran over three family members in a southern Polish village on Saturday, police said.

“The child somehow started the car, whose keys had been left in the ignition, and it began reversing,” police spokesman Adam Jachimczak said.

The child’s mother, who tried to stop the car, and her four-year-old daughter, got run over by the vehicle which pinned the grandfather against the wall of a barn.

The four-year-old, who suffered the most serious injuries, was rushed to hospital together with her mother and grandfather who were also hurt, Jachimczak said.

Taken from http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050924/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_poland_accident

Bush Is A Disaster

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Found this picture of some British news on the web:

Bush: One of the worst disasters to hit the U.S.

Isn’t that great? Bush was actually saying that Katrina was one of the worst disasters to hit the U.S., but it looks like the news was saying that Bush was one of the worst disasters to hit the U.S. which is well, debatably true. 😛

The Sexual Urges of Men and Women

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Came across this on the web and got quite a laugh outta it, so I thought I’d share. 🙂

“I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words “I do.”

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT???”

So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I’m thinking, “What was her first clue?” I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don’t think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said, “I’m ready to go to the cash register.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No, honey, I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now.” You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, “Really, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man.”

I figure that I won’t be having sex again until some time after the Spring of 2008 but godammit it was worth it.”

Author unknown

Stolen from: http://www.cs.helsinki.fi/u/abrax/FUN/SEX.html

Some Commentary & Funny Stuff on the GTA:SA ESRB Rating Change

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First off, if you hadn’t heard, there is some game source code in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (for both the PC and PS2) that if unlocked allows you to see the main character having sex with a naked girl. Mind you though that it requires modifying the game code in order to be able to view it. Rockstar Games, the makers of the GTA series, removed the scenes from the game (but not the code for them) before the game was released and if you play the game as it came right outta the box, you’ll never see the contriversal scenes. Here’s a video though of one of the scenes if you’re interested in what they’re like, (it’s not work safe of course).

Because of this, the ESRB changed the game’s rating from Mature, (“suitable for persons ages 17 and older“), to Adults Only, (“persons 18 years and older“). As a result of this ratings change, Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, and Circuit City have all pulled the game from their shelves.

Before I get into how much bullshit it is changing the rating of a game due to content that can only be accessed by modifying game content, let me point out how rediculous the rating change is (from ages 17+ to 18+). Well, actually, even better, let me link to a hiliarious article by Maddox.

More recently, Senator Hillary Clinton asked the Federal Trade Commision (FTC) to investigate Rockstar Games saying that they had “gamed the ratings system” by concealing the sex scenes and she called for a $90-million study on the effects of video games on children.

Now to the real point of my blog post — in today’s Los Angeles Times, an excellent commentary appeared on the whole subject that is really worth the read if you have a minute or two.

I’ve also mirrored the article here if the above link becomes no longer available: Continue reading →